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Overcoming Court Anxiety
Manual
Whether you’re facing a divorce hearing, financial dispute, or custody battle, the pressure of legal proceedings can trigger stress, panic, and emotional overwhelm.
If you find yourself losing sleep, overthinking worst-case scenarios, or feeling physically ill from the stress of a court case, you’re not alone. Court stress is real—but you can manage it.
This guide will show you practical, evidence-based ways to stay calm, clear-headed, and
confident before, during, and after your court case.
The guide is useful for those facing the family court system in England & Wales. It should not be treated as legal advice, nor should it override your lawyer's advice - and is given for information purposes only.
1. Mental Preparation: be ready for anything
• Familiarize Yourself with Court Documents – Read everything carefully so you’re
not caught off guard.
• Understand Legal Jargon – If legal terms confuse you, work with a lawyer or
divorce coach to break them down.
• Prepare What You Will Say – Write down key points so you don’t forget anything
important.
• Think of It Like an Interview – Practice possible cross-examination questions in
advance.
• Rehearse Your Answers – Ask a friend, lawyer, or coach to help you role-play
tough questions so you feel ready.
2. Face Your Fears - Overcome Panic Attacks
• If you struggle with panic, practice deep breathing (in through the nose and out through the nose
• Get used to nose breathing through the day
• Listen to my Stop Panic Audio – which you can find in Your Resources on my website, www.themindfullpractice.com
• Practice grounding techniques ahead of time.
3. Emotional Preparation:
• Work on CBT techniques before your court date to reduce panic and overthinking.
• Accept Uncertainty – You don’t control the judge’s decision, but you can control
your mindset. Work on mindfulness techniques.
• Prepare for Social Anxiety – If facing people in court feels overwhelming, practice
staying composed in conversations.
• Reduce Overwhelm – Focus on mental preparation to keep your thoughts
organized and calm.
4. Physical Preparation
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• Plan Your Route to Court – Practice the journey beforehand so you know exactly
where you’re going.
• Bring a Support Person – A friend or family member can offer emotional
reassurance.
• Dress the Part – Wear neutral, professional, and muted colors to present yourself
confidently.
• Arrive 60 Minutes Early – The court won’t wait for you. Arriving early also allows
time to speak with your lawyer before the hearing.
• Acting for Yourself? – If self-representing, you can bring a McKenzie Friend (a
non-legal support person). They cannot speak for you but can help keep you
organized
5. Day In Court:
• Use an Anchor Thought – Remind yourself: “I am prepared. I can handle this.”
• Stay Neutral & Composed – The court observes your behavior. If you react angrily, the opposing barrister can claim you are naturally reactive, which may work against you in cases involving children.
• Respect the Judge & Legal Counsel – Do not interrupt, argue, or speak out of turn. Remain polite and address the judge respectfully.
• Keep Answers Short & Concise – Answer only what is asked. Do not elaborate unless required.
• Stay Consistent with Details – When referring to dates, times, and events, make sure your answers remain exactly the same throughout the hearing.
• Pause Before Answering – Take 3 seconds to breathe before responding—this gives you time to stay calm and collected.
• If you do panic, tell the court that you are finding this difficult and a little stressful. They judge may well give you a recess to cope with the situation
• Buy Time if Needed – If you need a moment, ask the barrister to repeat the question rather than rushing your response.
• Calm Anchor Thought – “I am prepared. I can handle this.”
6. Final Thought: Preparation = Confidence
Court stress is real, but you CAN prepare mentally, emotionally, and physically to stay
composed and in control. With these tools, you’ll feel stronger, calmer, and more strategic in handling the process.
You Can Do This