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Quiz: Do I have Divorce Anxiety?

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Do you have divorce anxiety? Are you at risk of divorce burnout?

Divorce affects everyone differently.

Whether you’re frozen in indecision, overwhelmed by emotion, or struggling to rebuild, this brief quiz will help you understand where you are right now — and what kind of support may be most appropriate for your stage.

Takes less than 2 minutes

No right or wrong answers — just reflection and honesty.

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Take this 10-question self-test to see where your relationship stands.

Instructions: Choose the option that best describes how you feel about your break up or divorce.

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1. I often feel a sense of panic or dread about the future, even when nothing is happening.

☐ A. No, I feel calm about what’s ahead.

☐ B. Occasionally, but it passes quickly.

☐ C. Sometimes, I get anxious and unsettled.

☐ D. Often, I feel tense or overwhelmed by uncertainty.

☐ E. Almost always, I live in a state of underlying panic.​

2. I find myself confused and unable to make even simple decisions.

☐ A. No, I feel clear and decisive.

☐ B. Occasionally, I get stuck but if I slow down I can work through it.

☐ C. I don't know - decisions feel harder than they should, I suppose.

☐ D. Often, I feel frozen or second-guess everything.

☐ E. Always, even small decisions feel impossible.

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3. I knew divorce would be hard, but not this hard! 

☐ A. Sure things are harder, but I expect that. Divorce is difficult..

☐ B. Occasionally, I’m less enthusiastic about my future but I can think my way out of it.

☐ C. Sometimes, I can feel disconnected from life and my friends

☐ D. Often, things feel dull or meaningless. If I really try I can shift my emotions

☐ E. Always, nothing feels enjoyable anymore.

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4. I feel like I’m watching my life from a distance.

☐ A. No, I feel present and connected to my life.

☐ B. Occasionally, I feel distant but it passes.

☐ C. Sometimes, I feel detached without meaning to.

☐ D. Often, I feel like a spectator in my own life.

☐ E. Always, I feel numb and cut off from my emotions.

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5. I am always doom scrolling - I don't know why - but it calms me down.

☐ A. No, I am not usually distracted.

☐ B. Occasionally, I do. But no worse than before

☐ C. Sometimes, sure. I’m on my phone more 

☐ D. Often, screen time has really crept up - I can forget about things for a bit

☐ E. Always, I need to to get through the day. If there's any issue - I reach for it

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6. I have sudden mood swings or react more emotionally than the situation calls for.

☐ A. No, I stay steady even under stress.

☐ B. Occasionally, but I can usually recover quickly.

☐ C. Sometimes, my emotions feel bigger than the moment.

☐ D. Often, I react more strongly than I intend to.

☐ E. Always, my moods swing unpredictably and feel out of control.

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7. I don’t know how to cope with parenting or finances alone.

☐ A. I feel steady managing on my own, even if it’s challenging sometimes.

☐ B. I cope most days, but there are moments when it feels heavy.

☐ C. I manage, but often feel unsure and second-guess my decisions.

☐ D. Most of the time, I feel overwhelmed trying to balance everything.

☐ E. I feel lost and unsupported — like it’s all too much to handle alone.

. I have sudden mood swings or react more emotionally than the situation calls for.

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8. I worry my ex has become my enemy and feel confused about how to handle it.

☐ A. No, I see them as a separate person, not an enemy.

☐ B. Occasionally, I get triggered but regain perspective.

☐ C. Sometimes, I feel stuck in a cycle of conflict.

☐ D. Often, I’m caught between anger and confusion about them.

☐ E. Always, it feels like they’re the enemy and I don’t know how to cope.​​

9. I don’t feel like I fit in with friends or social groups now that I’m newly single.

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☐ A. No, I feel accepted and connected socially.

☐ B. Occasionally, I feel awkward but it fades.

☐ C. Sometimes, I notice a gap between me and others.

☐ D. Often, I feel left out or uncomfortable socially.

☐ E. Always, I feel like an outsider in social situations.

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10. I sometimes experience sudden physical symptoms like racing heart, dizziness, or breathlessness — especially under emotional stress.

☐ A. No, I rarely experience physical symptoms under stress.

☐ B. Occasionally, I feel keyed-up, but it passes quickly.

☐ C. Sometimes, stress feels physical — tension, restlessness, headaches.

☐ D. Often, I notice strong physical symptoms like tight chest or rapid heartbeat.

☐ E. Always, I feel overwhelmed by physical sensations like panic, breathlessness, or racing heart.

How to Interpret Your Score:

Mostly A’s — Low Divorce Anxiety

You’re Showing Strong Emotional Resilience

You’re riding the emotional waves of divorce without tipping into overwhelm. You are likely have strong emotional regulation, clear decision-making, and supportive structures in place.

Now is the time to maintain and deepen that resilience. Stress will ebb and flow — and recovery doesn’t happen overnight. It can take 12 months or more for the nervous system to fully settle after divorce, longer if there was abuse or high conflict.

Stay compassionate with yourself, and use the Library Resources and Recovery Room Toolkits to stay resilient and emotionally steady as life recalibrates.​

Mostly B’s — Mild Divorce Anxiety

You’re Managing, But Small Cracks Are Showing

You’re coping well — but subtle signs of strain are beginning to surface: anxiety, avoidance, second-guessing.

Left unchecked, these cracks can widen.

The key now is mindful maintenance.

• Take challenges one at a time to avoid overwhelm.

• Pause before reacting — focus on building resilience in the moment.

• Prioritise consistent self-care — it’s not indulgent, it’s essential.

Gentle recalibration now will protect you from sliding deeper into emotional exhaustion.

Use the Library Resources to stay connected to your emotional wellbeing, and explore the Recovery Room Toolkits designed to keep you steady.

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Mostly C’s — Moderate Divorce Anxiety

You’re Carrying Heavy Emotional Loads

Although you’re coping, signs of anxiety are regularly creeping in - like disconnection, persistent stress and decision fatigue. This suggests your emotional reserves are running low.

At this stage, coping can shift into depletion.

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You might notice:

• Growing emotional numbness or disassociation.

• Loss of motivation and mental clarity.

• Avoidance — procrastination, withdrawal, overthinking.

• Unhealthy coping strategies, such as drinking too much.

• Increased sensitivity to everyday stressors.

This is your opportunity to reset before divorce burnout sets in.

Support should include:

• Targeted resilience practices — not just occasional coping.

• Nervous system balancing — somatic regulation, breathwork, hypnotherapy.

• Interrupting depletion patterns — working with avoidance, perfectionism, shutdown cycles.

• Consistent therapeutic support.

Use the Library resources to understand your challenges better and buffer daily strain —  the Recovery Room Toolkits can help interrupt these patterns and help support your recovery. 

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Mostly D’s — High Risk of Divorce Anxiety

You May Be Experiencing Divorce Burnout

Chronic overwhelm, emotional volatility, and withdrawal suggest you are operating in survival mode — cycling between fight, flight, and freeze responses.

At this stage, stress and trauma are  affecting your entire system:

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• Small stresses provoke outsized reactions.

• Numbness or emotional flatness.

• Mood swings between anxiety, anger, collapse.

• Cognitive fatigue — decision-making feels heavy and unclear.

• Physical symptoms — disrupted sleep, muscle tension, racing heart.

• Emotional flooding — tears without clear cause.

• Social withdrawal — even safe relationships feel draining.

Be mindful that this level of stress is not sustainable. Left unchecked, it can harden into chronic emotional exhaustion. Recovery is possible — but it needs structure, support and a different kind of care.

Start with the Divorce Anxiety and Panic Relief Toolkits for immediate stabilisation, and consider booking a therapy session to support your recovery. Even one session can help anchor you and provide a platform ​

Mostly E’s — Crisis Point: A Call for Help

Your System Is Asking for Change — It’s Time to Listen

Choosing E’s consistently high levels of divorce anxiety - and may signal advanced burnout. This isn’t just stress — it’s emotional exhaustion, depletion and survival mode.

You may notice:

• Even simple tasks feel impossible.

• Even 'normal' feels unreachable — life feels unreal or unfamiliar.

• Relationships feel distant or unsafe.

• Coping mechanisms — scrolling, withdrawal, drinking, food control — have become life rafts.

What’s happening:

• Emotional shutdown — numbness protects against overload.

• Cognitive fatigue — decision paralysis.

• Attachment distress — loss of safety in relationships.

• Survival lock — fight, flight, freeze domination.

You have more power than you realize, but your system does need a different response right now. Burnout isn’t something you power through — it’s something you recover from slowly, by rebuilding pockets of safety, restoring boundaries, and giving the mind and body the support they’ve been missing.

This is about grounding, safety and being supported. Use the Trauma Recovery and Panic Relief Toolkits to stabilise — and if you’re ready for deeper recovery, book a free consultation with me for one-on-one support. You will probably find that even one session helps to ground you.

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If you’re ready to take the next step towards healing and understanding, email me for a deeper analysis of your emotional patterns. 

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