Commitment anxiety trends
Why is it so hard to commit to a relationship these days?
In a world where dating apps have become the norm and traditional relationships are being challenged more people than ever are struggling with commitment anxiety. This page explores the reasons behind this trend, how the new dating landscape impacts our ability to form meaningful connections, and what you can do to overcome commitment fears.
1. The impact of dating apps
Dating apps are now the most common way couples meet. But they contribute to commitment anxiety in significant ways:
✔ Superficial Connections: The swipe culture promotes quick judgments based on appearance not real compatibility.
✔ Choice Overload: Having endless options can lead to ‘the grass is greener’ mentality, making it hard to settle.
✔ Perfectionism: Highly curated profiles create unrealistic expectations about partners.
✔ Comparison Anxiety: The deluge of available dating profiles can cause confusion and comparison anxiety
📊 Did You Know?
Approximately 39% of heterosexual couples met online in 2017, compared to only 22% in 2009
(Source: Stanford University)
2. Fear of divorce and relationship failure
The rising divorce rates and stories of messy breakups have made many people - especially gen z - wary of long-term commitments. The fear of making a mistake that leads to a painful divorce can paralyze decision-making and fuel commitment anxiety.
📊 Key Stats:
• 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce.
• The average age for divorce is rising perhaps as many people are waiting longer to marry.
(Source: Office for National Statistics, UK)
3. The Fast Pace of Dating
Dating apps not only promote instant connections but also accelerate the pace at which relationships develop - or end. The pressure to find a match quickly can cause people to jump into relationships without fully assessing compatibility, leading to a fear of long-term commitment once the honeymoon phase ends.
• Speed Dating Mindset: Quick connections lead to quick breakups, making it hard to trust in lasting relationships.
• Ghosting Culture: The ease of disappearing without explanation adds to anxiety about commitment.
4. The Decline of Meeting Through Friend & Family Networks
Fewer people are meeting through friends, family, or work. Instead, the reliance on apps has isolated the dating experience, making it harder to build trust organically.
• Traditional introductions have decreased by 30% since the 1940s, while online dating has surged.
(Source: Pew Research Center)
5. Commitment Anxiety and Social Media
Social media has transformed how we perceive relationships, often fueling insecurity and distrust:
• Comparison Culture: Seeing curated highlights of others’ relationships can make ours feel inadequate.
• Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Creates anxiety about being tied down or missing better options.
• Attachment Styles: Anxious attachment is more likely to develop in environments with inconsistent validation—like social media.
📊 Key Insight:
55% of dating app users reported feeling insecure about the lack of responses or the quality of matches they received.
(Source: Pew Research Center)
6. Narcissism and Dating Apps: A Toxic Mix
The nature of dating apps can amplify narcissistic traits, such as self-promotion, superficial connections, and a lack of accountability. This makes it harder for genuine connections to form and increases the likelihood of commitment anxiety.
• Swipe Culture: Reinforces a focus on looks and immediate gratification rather than emotional depth.
• Catfishing and Deception: Erodes trust, making it hard to commit.
7. Fear of Vulnerability and Emotional Exposure
At its core, commitment anxiety is often a fear of being vulnerable—of showing our true selves and risking rejection or betrayal.
• Fear of Emotional Exposure: People with past trauma or insecure attachment styles may struggle to open up.
• Avoidant Attachment: Leads to distancing strategies like ghosting, maintaining emotional walls, or avoiding deep conversations.
8. The Rise of ‘Situationships’
With fewer people willing to define relationships, ‘situationships’—where the relationship lacks clear boundaries or commitments—have become more common. While this may seem like a way to avoid commitment anxiety, it often leads to more confusion and insecurity.
Summary: Why Is Commitment So Hard Today?
The pressure of dating apps, rising divorce rates, and the highlight reels of social media are making commitment feel more overwhelming than ever. But with the right tools—like CBT, hypnotherapy, and mindfulness—you can break free from commitment anxiety and build the secure, lasting connection you deserve.
Are You Trapped in a Commitment Loop?
Take my 🧩 Commitment Anxiety Quiz to find out if your fears are holding you back.
🏷️ Commitment Anxiety | 🏷️ Jealousy & Comparison Anxiety | 🏷️ Divorce Anxiety