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Relationship Conflict
Face conflict with confidence & self-compassion
Most of us long for an intimate and committed relationships. The media tells us that we just need to find love then it will be plain sailing. But the truth is rarely that simple. Relationships bring together two people with different histories, upbringings, needs and ways of communicating and navigating this can be difficult but also be very rewarding.
Sometimes we enter more turbulent times—perhaps managing an abusive or partner or caring for someone mentally ill. Life events—a break-up, a legal battle, a loss—can destabilise even the most grounded couple. As a therapist, former litigation solicitor and divorce coach,
I've helped many people through conflict. This hub offers insights into different conflict approaches, help you find out your conflict resilience score. gain tools to reduce overwhelm and manage conflict more effectively.​
What is Relationship Conflict?
Relationship conflict in intimate relationships refers to any tension, argument or emotional disconnect between partners.
Conflict is not bad, it is a natural part of human connection, reflecting the reality that no two people are exactly alike.
How we understand it, respond to it, and reflect on our role within it can shape our mental and emotional wellbeing.
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Conflict is a natural part of relating and naturally emerges for many reasons:
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Differences in opinions and beliefs: Disagreements about values, worldviews, or priorities.
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Contrasting personalities and communication styles: Mismatched ways of expressing emotions or handling disagreement.
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Clashing needs and desires: One person may crave closeness while the other seeks independence; or they may have differing priorities around finances, intimacy, or family.
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Unresolved past experiences: Old wounds, unhealed traumas, or lingering resentments that influence how partners react in the present.​​
What Conflict Causes Relationships To
Break down?
Having disagreements is a fact of life. Many couples believe that reducing arguments and respectful copromise is the key to success, that isn't what research shows.
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These 4 conflict patterns predict relationship breakdown.
​🔹 Attacking character not resolving the issue
🔹 Generalised blame eg 'You always do this....
🔹 Comparing your partner negatively to others
🔹 Shifting blame rather than taking responsibility
🔹 Play the victim 'Poor me'. Use self defeating humor
🔹 Bringing up the past - which is not relevant
​🔹 Using aggressive humour to belittle partner
🔹 Mocking, eye rolling, using sacrcasm or sighing
🔹 Acting like you’re smarter or superior
​🔹Dismissive, silent treatment or one word answers
🔹 Avoiding eye contact & walking away mid sentence
🔹 Diverting or being 'too busy' to respond
What's Your Conflict Response?
How you manage conflict impacts the health and longevity of your relationship.​ Particularly, when facing a high conflict situation situation - such as going through a divorce - or dealing with a high conflict relationship. When we are vulnerable, it's easy to overreact or withdraw -this not give you the best outcome. Find out more...
Check Your Library Resources
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How To Repair Relationships
Conflict isn’t inherently bad - it is a fact of life. How we handle it determines whether it harms or heals our relationship and our mental health. Most relationships are salvageable... Find out what are the relationship killers and what do you need to do to keep well away from the divorce courts
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Check Your Library Resources
Committed Relationships
Relationship Repair
Mindful Living
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Is CBT Effective For Relationship Anxiety?
Struggling with relationship fears? Always arguing. Thinking about breaking up? Perhaps CBT is not the traditional route. But research shows that CBT can be more effective at solving relationship anxiety issues than other talking therapies.
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Find out more...
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