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Divorce anxiety hub
Creating healthier ways to deal with divorce
The fear, pain and upheaval of divorce can feel like a tsunami—unexpected, disorienting maybe terrifying. Even when it’s the right decision, divorce remains one of life’s most significant stressors: the loss of a partner, the uncertainty around children, housing, finances, even identity. It's a lot to process, especially as the person you once relied on is now the adversary.
This pain will pass. Divorce is a process. Your goal right now, is not to heal but to manage the storm. Put down your anchor —build resilience and calm fears, so you are able to make the best decisions for you. ​​​
What resources are here?
​As a therapist, divorce coach and former litigation solicitor—I understand both the emotional and the practical weight of high-conflict divorce. I have created this Divorce Anxiety Hub as a safe space that supports you through the chaos. Dip in when you have the need—there's lots of information to digest so take it slowly.
For those who want to dive in, why not download my Divorce Recovery Guide?
For those who who need more hands-on-support, if you book a free session , we can work out what's needed—as a team.
What is divorce anxiety?
Divorce anxiety is the worry, fear, or stress that comes with divorce or a breakup. It can arise at any stage—whether you’re considering separation, going through court or adjusting to life post-divorce. It can be debilitating and very confusing as so many areas of your life are impacted.
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It can be helpful to know that over 50% of people going through a divorce experience severe anxiety. So you are not alone and you are not broken.​
Divorce anxiety and panic
Divorce anxiety and uncertainty can triggers many mental fears and a flood of different emotions. Perhaps you are crying all the time or struggling with mood shifts. You may experience:
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Constant negative thoughts and obsessive worry that you can't shift.
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Emotional Overwhelm—Emotional flooding, such as anger, grief, helplessness or abandonment
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Irritability & Agitation – Feeling constantly on edge, taking things out on the kids and people at work.
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Exhaustion – Struggling to concentrate, confusion, mental overwhelm or brain-fog
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Depression & fatigue - you can't think straight, have no motivation—feel helpless and hopeless.
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Insomnia or eating issues —you may be increasingly turning to food, OTC drugs or alcohol to help you cope.
It is also common to experience physical symptoms – racing heart, numbness, dizziness, feeling of disassociation. If you are feeling any uncomfortable sensations and also feeling fearful, you may be experiencing panic attacks. Visit the panic page to find out more information on this.
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It's important to prioritise your own self care. Do speak to your GP for help and reassurance so they can rule out serious health conditions. Once you are sure you are dealing with anxiety, find an anxiety and divorce therapist to work with you—someone who can build your resilience with knowledge of the legal divorce process and manage your anxiety professionally.
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I'm a panic specialist (and work for a national panic charity), and I've created a Panic Page in the Anxiety Hub to support you. Here you can find out more about panic attacks symptoms, the difference between panic attacks vs heart attacks and how to heal. You can listen to my Stop Panic Audio and find other panic calming tools.
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Useful Anxiety Hub Links:
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Common divorce anxiety fears
​🔹 Financials: Fear of managing bills alone and worrying where to live
🔹 Job: Worry about starting work after years at home.
🔹 Retirement: Fear retirement could be pushed back.
🔹 Legal: Feeling overwhelmed by paperwork, scared of court hearings and not understanding legal jargon.
🔹 Guilt & Shame: Blame yourself for the end of the marriage. Feel a failure as a spouse or parent.
🔹 Fear of Being Judged: Worry about the opinions of friends, family, or community.
🔹 Needy: Can't let go of the past and cling to the hope of trying again. Even if relationship is unhealthy
​🔹 Fear of Emotional Harm: Worrying that the divorce will impact your children’s well-being.
🔹 Co-Parenting Conflicts: Fear of how to manage parenting with an uncooperative or abusive ex. l
🔹 Practical Implications: Managing your children's anxiety or their special needs
​🔹Loss of Identity: Unsure of who you are without your partner.
🔹 Sudden Loneliness: Adjusting to empty evenings and weekends as friends not filling the gap.
🔹 Fear of Future Relationships: Worrying you’ll never find love again or will repeat past mistakes.
​​How long does divorce anxiety last?
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Divorce anxiety is not a clinical condition, it is situational. This means much of the stress is caused by the divorce process itself. Once the divorce is over and the dust has settled, often the tension between the divorcing parties starts to ease. Many find that their anxiety improve around the 6-months mark and their relationship with their ex starts to improve as they both build separate lives.
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For some, post divorce anxiety becomes an issue. This can include:
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Issues with child contact or residency arrangements
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Difficulties integrating step parents
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Continued coercive control.
How to navigate conflict
Conflict is natural during a breakup or divorce and in high conflict relationships. Even if your ex was once reasonable, legal battles and heightened emotions can escalate tensions quickly. Stress can spiral out of control, leaving both parties frustrated, defensive, and emotionally drained. Even when it starts off calmly, divorce can intensify conflict—especially when power dynamics shift. As a former litigation solicitor and divorce coach, I’ve seen what helps people stay emotionally anchored through tough conversations. Conflict management and adopting de-escalation strategies are key.
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Useful Anxiety Hub Links:
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High Conflict Relationships (& Situations) | Conflict Response | Narcissistic Abuse | Narcissistic Trauma | Leaving a Narcissist
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Manage emotions rather than immiadately react.
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Be Strategic. Choosing when and how to engage.
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Detach. Keep communication neutral and business-like.
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Be sure of your boundaries – Knowing what you will and won’t tolerate.​​​
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📖 Worried you may have Conflict Anxiety? Being in a high conflict relationship—or in a high conflict situation, like break-up or divorce— can create conflict anxiety. Find out what this looks like and how to manage it.
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Conflict Test: What's your Conflict Management Style? >> Knowing how you deal with conflict can help you manage anxiety better.​​
De-escalation strategies
Understanding court anxiety
Legal proceedings can trigger extreme stress—especially when the outcome feels personal, unfair, or beyond your control. It adds another layer of stress to an already stressful situation. For some, court hearings are a traumatic experience - especially if you have a coercive partner or suffer with social anxiety. Getting the right support enables you to stay composed, manage emotions and navigate the process with confidence. ​
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​📖 Find Out What Causes Court Anxiety
​📖 Get my Court Stress Management Guide
Useful Anxiety Hub Links:​
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Court Anxiety | High Conflict Relationships (and Situations)
My divorce anxiety tool kit
I use proven techniques to help you stay calm, focused, and emotionally strong. The divorce anxiety tool kit includes 4 practical tools includngi a free hypnosis audio - the Sea of Serenity - where you can find peace within the storm:
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Five Things You See – Instant technique to stop panic attacks fast.
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The Decision Compass – Mindfulness tool to help overcome indecision & fear of the future.
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The Sea of Serenity Hypnosis – Calm anxiety & find deep relaxation.
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The Loneliness Makeover – CBT behavioural tool to cope with loneliness at home following a break up
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Why not try out them out and let me know what you think?
5 Things to See
Grounding Technique
The Decision
Compass
Sea of Serenity
Hypnosis
The Loneliness Home
Makeover
Healing after divorce
Finally the divorce is over! This is now time for you...
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- To rediscover who you are.
- Find new direction & goals.
- Let go of resentment & embrace peace.
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This is a slow path of self discovery. When we are in a long-term relationship with another, we not only grow closer but we can become more like our partners. Their vision and purpose - even hobbies - can become ours. Disentangling ourselves from this can take you time. Re-discovering your new identity, your dreams and new passions, perhaps means reconnecting with your authentic self. This will allow you to welcome joy and peace back in.
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You may also want to explore dating, start a new relationship and even find out how to develop a healthy, committed relationships. Take each small step one at a time. When you are ready. You may also find out want to find out more about Mindful Living - and the MindFull Practice Program. Developing mindfulness mastery and deeping self-contemplation are part of the process of building healthy & intimate Mindful Relationships (part of MindFull Living).​
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Healing Trauma | Committed Relationships | Healing Relationship Conflict. | Visit Mindful Living​
10-step Divorce Recovery Guide
Perhaps a good place to finish is with my Divorce Recovery 10-Step Guide​​
Divorce is simply a process. For many of you, it will be difficult as so many areas of your life will change. However, it doesn't have to be debitilitating. Break-up and conflict is also a time for huge emotional and psychological growth. Divorce can help you develop many life tools, such as inner resilience, conflict management skill and acceptance. Ultimately, you can use this as a process to re-discover your meaning and purpose.
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My 10-Step Divorce Recovery Guide give you the structure of how to to move from chaos to stability to clarity.
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Good luck on your journey.
Nathelie x​​​