Commitment Anxiety

Learning to deeply trust yourself

The fear of making the wrong relationship choice can be all-consuming—and leave you feeling deeply alone. Whether you’re dating again after a difficult breakup, or you’re in a relationship but filled with doubt, the uncertainty can be paralysing. You don’t want to repeat the past—but the future feels just as unclear.

Do You Struggle With Dating Anxiety?

Dating has never been more accessible—or more stressful. In a world of swipes, curated profiles and endless options, dating can feel like a high-stakes game where the pressure to find the “perfect” partner is overwhelming. Yet, dating anxiety is on the rise. Although we are now hyper connected, and able to hook up with someone virtually anywhere in the world, it is more difficult than ever to get into a relationship:

40% of women dating app users experience some app related stress (statista.com - 2024.)
1 in 6 young adults have experienced a panic attack on a first date.

Did you know that there are different reasons for dating anxiety? Tt is not just about fearing rejection, but also fearing intimacy and being judged. It can also trigger the wrong partner choice (Fear of a better option - FOBO. You fear being hurt and betrayed again - or in another abusive relationship.

Your Library Resources:

Are There Different Types of Dating Anxiety? - Discover the 7 types of dating anxiety

Is the Fast Pace of Dating and Hook-Ups Your Issue? Why some people cannot move beyond dating

Ever been told your too sensitive? - Could you be an empath or HSP and fuelling your own commitment fear

Commitment Anxiety vs
Fear Of a Better Option

Whether it's dating or commitment anxiety is not always clear cut. Some people won't commit as they believe that they may be missing a better partner option (FOBO):

Anxiety Signs:

Commitment Anxiety

• Procrastinate, confuse and delay

• Difficulty discussing the future

• Intimate, then withdraw

Anxiety Signs:

Fear of a Better Option (FOBO)

• Compare partner to a “perfect” standard.

• Overanalyzing your partner’s actions.

• Scared of missing someone better

Quiz: Should I Stay or Go?

If you are not sure if you have reasonable relationships doubts - or you have commitment anxiety - take this quiz:

QUIZ: Should I Stay or Go?

What is Commitment Anxiety?

So what is commitment anxiety? Commitment anxiety is the fear of making long-term decisions in relationships - whether it’s about getting married, moving in together, or even accepting the boyfriend/girlfriend label. Relationship milestones can trigger self-sabotage cycles. Commitment anxiety is rapidly rising. Technology, dating apps and social media have changed the relationship landscape, bringing new fears, such as comparison anxiety and fear of being ghosted.

Unhealthy Commitment Signs:

Avoids relationship milestones, such as getting married or moving in.
Blows hot and cold' – Showing affection one day, pulling back the next.
Procrastinates - can't decide or diverts conversations.
Push affection away - uncomfortable with closeness
Stonewalling - don't reply to messages. The 'silent treatment'.

Your Library Resources:

Commitment Anxiety Trends - Discover how and why the commitment anxiety landscape is changing

Are You in a Committed Relationship - Discover why this is important and how to achieve it.

Explore Social Media's Impact on Commitment - Are you struggling with 'situationship' or ghosting fears? Find out here.

Could you be Commitment Phobic? Find out what this looks like and if gender or culture makes a difference

Partner Commitment Issues? Can a Narcissist be Commitment Phobic?

How Empath's Navigate Commitment Anxiety? Find out about how and why empaths struggle with commitment

How social media impacts dating & commitment anxiety

The explosion of dating apps and social media connections has created so many more opportunities for finding a partner? Find out how this is affecting dating and commitment anxiety.

Commitment Anxiety Trends >>

Can Commitment Anxiety Cause Panic Attacks?

The fear of dating or making the wrong decision (FOBO) or even making an important relationship decision can cause overwhelming stress panic attacks. combined with past trauma or controlling behaviors, can cause overwhelming stress.

Common triggers:

• Fear of being trapped in a toxic relationship.

• Uncertainty about your partner’s intentions.

• Fear of vulnerability and being hurt again.

You may experience a flood of negative thoughts, confusion, disassociation and brain fog. A flood of emotions may include anger, fear, sadness and vulnerability. You may experience a cocktails of unpleasant sensations include a racing heart, sweating, nausea, choking and shaking.

I am not just a panic therapist but I also work on a national panic helpline, so I am used to managing all types of panic. Please do visit Panic Attack Page to find out how to overcome panic and what to do in a crisis.

Why We Fear Relationship Commitment

There are many reasons that we fear commitment. Here are are 8 reasons possibilities:

Fear of vulnerability: Afraid of getting hurt if the relationship fails.
Past trauma: Previous betrayals, narcissistic abuse or toxic relationships.
Fear of losing freedom: Worry that commitment means losing personal autonomy.
Difficult past relationships: Experiencing a messy break up or a controlling partner.
Fear of vulnerability - fear of sharing emotions and opening up
Fear of intimacy - Fear of being hurt again
Low Self Esteem - Believing you are not good enough
Attachment Issues - growing up with emotionally unavailable parents or care-givers

How To Overcome Commitment Anxiety?

So you have commitment issues—you feel overwhelmed and stuck. What do you do? You cannot force ourselves or our partner to have more trust. You can, however, explore what having more trust could feel like. Be sufficiently open to 'trying the next stage of the relationship out,' and put ourselves in situations where our partner can prove they can be there for us. We can also approach challenging situations with self-awareness and confidence. This helps rebuild trust and restore harmony to the relationship and gives us emotional and mental peace.

Suggestions:

Challenge Perfectionism: Accept that no relationship is perfect—focus on what works.
Address Past Trauma: Unresolved pain fuels commitment fears—therapy can help you process this safely.
Build Emotional Resilience: Mindfulness and CBT can help you manage overthinking and emotional triggers.
Take Small Steps: Instead of focusing on lifelong commitment, start with smaller, achievable goals.
Practice Self-Compassion: Let go of the fear of failure and focus on progress, not perfection.

CBT is an exceptionally good tool for challenging unhelpful beliefs and supporting you through dating & commitment anxiety. If you have never tried CBT before, I have given you a couple of tools to experiment with below

Commitment Anxiety Toolkit

Time to visit Your Recovery Room... I use proven techniques to help you stay calm, focused, and emotionally strong. The tool kit includes 3 practical tools including a free hypnosis audio - the Golden Path Hypnosis - where you can find deeper insight into gaining inner direction and clarity.

All my tools are free - you just need to join up below and become a member of the MindFull community...