Commitment anxiety hub
Break free from dating & commitment anxiety & build trust
Does the fear of making the wrong choice keep you stuck? Commitment in relationships - especially after a difficult divorce or painful breakup - can feel overwhelming. You don’t want to repeat the past, but the uncertainty of the future feels just as daunting.
Perhaps anxiety has taken over - leaving you feeling stuck, confused, or even experiencing panic attacks? You’re feeling paralyzed by indecision, constantly questioning:
“What if this goes wrong again?”
“How do I know if this is right?”
“Am I just setting myself up for more heartbreak?”
You’re not alone. The first step to recovery is acknowledging the issue and understanding it. This hub will help you:
✔ Understand the psychology behind commitment anxiety
✔ Recognize the signs of commitment phobia vs. healthy hesitation
✔ Get expert strategies, mindfulness tools, & hypnosis support
✔ Stop procrastination and take control of your relationship choices.
📅 Book a Free Session | 👩🏼🦳 Meet Me | 🏷️ Panic | 🏷️ Divorce Anxiety
Hub highlights...
📖 Dating Anxiety or Fear Of Better Options (FOBO)? Not sure why you can't get into a relationship?
📖 What is Commitment Anxiety? – Discover why commitment feels overwhelming.
📖 Could you be Commitment Phobic? Find out what this looks like and if gender or culture makes a difference
📖 Why do We Fear Relationship Commitment: 8 reasons - The many reasons we fear relationship milestones.
📖 Social Media’s Impact on Commitment Fears – Comparison culture and FOMO - find out social media's impact!
📖 Signs of Unhealthy Commitment Anxiety in Relationships – Recognizing when it’s a problem and what to do.
🛠 My Expert Healing Tools – Try the Decision Compass, the 3-minute reality check and 'The Golden Path' Hypnosis (free audio!)
Not sure if you're struggling with commitment anxiety? Can't make up your mind if you should stay or go? Take my test:
🧩 Commitment Anxiety Quiz – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
You may find these tags useful
Have you dating anxiety? Or
FOBO anxiety?
Dating has never been more accessible—or more stressful. In a world of swipes, curated profiles and endless options, dating can feel like a high-stakes game where the pressure to find the “perfect” partner is overwhelming. Dating anxiety is on the rise. Although we are now hyper connected, and able to hook up with someone virtually anywhere in the world, it is more difficult than ever to get into a relationship:
✔ 40% of women dating app users experience some app related stress (statista.com - 2024.)
✔ 1 in 6 young adults have experienced a panic attack on a first date.
Dating anxiety is not just about fearing rejection, but also fearing intimacy and being judged. It can also trigger the wrong partner choice (Fear of a better option - FOBO. You fear being hurt and betrayed again - or in another abusive relationship.
Commitment anxiety vs fear of a
better option (FOBO)
Anxiety signs:
Fear of a Better Option (FOBO)
• Overanalyzing every detail of your partner’s actions.
• Compare partner to a “perfect” standard.
• Feeling paralyzed: Fear of missing someone better
Anxiety signs:
Commitment Anxiety:
• Difficulty discussing the future of the relationship
• Intimate, then withdraw ('blow hot & and cold').
• Procrastinate, confuse and delay
Can commitment or dating anxiety cause panic attacks?
Yes, dating and commitment anxiety can trigger panic attacks. The fear of making the wrong decision (FOBO), combined with past trauma or controlling behaviors, can cause overwhelming stress.
Common Triggers:
• Fear of being trapped in a toxic relationship.
• Uncertainty about your partner’s intentions.
• Fear of vulnerability and being hurt again.
You may experience a flood of negative thoughts, confusion, disassociation, brain fog. Emotions may include anger, fear, sadness and vulnerability. Unwanted sensations include a racing heart, sweating, nausea, choking and shaking.
What is commitment anxiety?
Commitment anxiety is the fear of making long-term decisions in relationships - whether it’s about getting married, moving in together, or even accepting the boyfriend/girlfriend label. Relationship milestones can trigger self-sabotage cycles. Commitment anxiety is rapidly rising. Technology, dating apps and social media have changed the relationship landscape, bringing new fears, such as comparison anxiety and fear of being ghosted.
Unhealthy commitment signs:
✔ Avoids relationship milestones, such as getting married or moving in.
✔ Blows hot and cold' – Showing affection one day, pulling back the next.
✔ Procrastinates - can't decide or diverts conversations.
✔ Push affection away - uncomfortable with closeness
✔ Stonewalls - Doesn't reply to messages. Silent treatment.
Useful links for you:
🧩 Commitment Anxiety Quiz – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
📖 What is Commitment?- Why it matters and how to build it.
📖 When Commitment Anxiety becomes a Phobia - Does gender or culture make a difference?
📖 Commitment Anxiety Trends - Discover how and why the commitment anxiety landscape is changing
📖 Are You in a Committed Relationship - Discover why this is important and how to achieve it.
📖 Why do we Avoid Relationship Commitment? - Find out the main reasons
📖 Explore Social Media's Impact on Commitment - Are you struggling with 'situationship' or ghosting fears? Find out here.
Useful tags for you:
🏷️ Self-Sabotage | 🏷️ Conflict | 🏷️ Anxiety Hub
If you need a deep diver or one-to-to-one help:
Why we avoid relationship commitment
Here are 8 reasons we fear commitment in relationships:
✔ Fear of vulnerability: Afraid of getting hurt if the relationship fails.
✔ Past trauma: Previous betrayals, narcissistic abuse or toxic relationships.
✔ Fear of losing freedom: Worry that commitment means losing personal autonomy.
✔ Witnessing a messy break up or difficulties managing child contact with the ex
✔ Fear of conflict - fear of sharing emotions and opening up
✔ Fear of intimacy - Fear of being hurt again
✔ Low Self Esteem - believing you are not good enough
✔ Attachment Issues - growing up with emotionally unavailable parents or care-givers.
Useful links for you:
📖 Partner Commitment Issues? Can a Narcissist be Commitment Phobic?
📖 Are You an Empath? Find out about empaths struggle with commitment anxiety
📖 Is the fast pace of dating and hook ups your issue? Why more people are becoming commitment phobic
Useful tags for you:
🏷️ Divorce Anxiety | 🏷️ Narcissistic Abuse | 🏷️ Narcissistic Trauma
Need a helping hand? 📆 Book a free session with me
How to overcome commitment anxiety?
We cannot force ourselves or our partner to have more trust. We can explore what having more trust could feel like. Be sufficiently open to 'trying the next stage of the relationship out,' and put ourselves in situations where our partner can prove they can be there for us. We can also approach challenging situations with self-awareness and confidence. This helps rebuild trust and restore harmony to the relationship and gives us emotional and mental peace.
Suggestions:
✔ Challenge Perfectionism: Accept that no relationship is perfect—focus on what works.
✔ Address Past Trauma: Unresolved pain fuels commitment fears—therapy can help you process this safely.
✔ Build Emotional Resilience: Mindfulness and CBT can help you manage overthinking and emotional triggers.
✔ Take Small Steps: Instead of focusing on lifelong commitment, start with smaller, achievable goals.
✔ Practice Self-Compassion: Let go of the fear of failure and focus on progress, not perfection.
Useful tags for you:
🏷️ Divorce Anxiety: If you have not processed your break-up or are you struggling with a challenging ex (post divorce)
🏷️ Conflict Resolution: Learn powerful Gottman techniques so you know what is needed to create a committed relationship that lasts.
🏷️ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Address and replace negative thought patterns—including commitment fears and procrastination—while building self-trust r
🏷️ Mindfulness: Become a master so you can bypass overthinking and be present in your relationship.
🏷️ Hypnotherapy: Empowers you to imagine what if - and embed exciting relationship possibilities
My expert mini toolkit
Break free from commitment anxiety
🛠️ The Decision Compass An insightful mindfulness tool to help ease confusion and find inner direction
🛠️ Three-Minute Reality Check - a powerful CBT tool to help break the cycle of overthinking and make relationship decisions confidently.
Book a free session when you need more support along your journey:
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