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Relationship Repair
Having a deep, intimate, and fulfilling long-term relationship is something most long for. Yet in a world shaped by Western romantic ideals and the endless “sweet shop” of dating apps, relationships often feel like a minefield.
Research shows that no relationship is perfect. Even the strongest couples face recurring problems that are not resolved.​ Lasting relationship with deep connection and intimacy, It’s about nurturing the relationship, being vigilant for relationship killers and repairing the relationship when it is wounded .
This page is dedicated to relationship mastery. For those who are committed to the relationship—not just 'putting up with it'—but who want to deepen connection, break old patterns and bring their partnership back to life
What Conflict Leads To Divorce?
Most people assume that arguments cause breakups. They don’t. Those relationships that fail one of the partners secretes more adrenaline (ACTH) and is more stressed and this predicated break-up deteriorate. Learning how to regulate conflict real relationship killer is indifference—when partners stop trying, stop caring, and emotional walls replace connection.
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Some couples argue a lot but stay deeply connected.
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Others rarely fight - their connection has gone - they are indifferent to their partner.
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These four types of relationship conflict lead to divorce. They work together to erode the trust an foundations of relationships. Do you recognise any?
​🔹 Attacking character / identity to divert focus
🔹 Making failures general rather than situation specific
🔹 Using unkind labels to undermine and blame
🔹 Over-generalisations to exaggerate and blame
🔹 Unkindly comparing partner to others
🔹 Won't take responsibility - shift topics or shift blame
🔹 Play the victim 'Poor me'. Use self defeating humor
🔹 Denying or fudging what happened
🔹 Diverting to past conflict - which is not relevant
🔹 Dismissing or minimising the other's feelings
​🔹 Mocking, ridiculing or using aggressive humour
🔹 Eye rolling or smirking
🔹 Acting like you’re smarter or superior
🔹 Exaggerating sighs & dismissiveness
🔹 Mimicking partner in an undermining or unkind way
​🔹Dismissive or one word answers
🔹 Silent treatment - refusing to respond
🔹 Avoiding eye contact & engagement
🔹 Walking away in the middle of a conversation
🔹 Diverting or being 'too busy' to respond
Recognizing your own actions is the first step to change. Taking time to reflect on whether you want to commit to the relationship—and how—is just as vital.
How Do You Commit? - There are many different types of commitment. Explore four ways you can commit
Conflict Response - Your personality can cause a trying conflict response, but there are many other reasons.
Your Conflict Response - Have you developed conflict anxiety? You may not have spotted the signs
High Conflict Relationships - Some people thrive on drama, do you? See if you recognise yourself here.
How To Heal Conflict
Most couples don’t realize that healing a relationship isn’t about talking more—it’s about prioritising the relationship and repairing conflict.
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There is one simple place to start - observe what you do, how you feel and what you think. Notice the moment arguments escalate is the first step to breaking negative cycles. What happens?
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Do you withdraw or shut down?
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Does your partner become defensive?
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Do you repeat old patterns of criticism or avoidance?
If this sounds a logical approach, then you may find Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT_ suits you:
CBT to Repair Relationships
CBT is used by many relationship practitioners as teaches practical skills to improve communication, manage negative thought patterns and resolve conflicts constructively. By helping individuals identify and change behaviors and thought processes that damage the relationship, CBT creates deeper understanding, empathy and a more resilient partnership.
This means
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Managing emotional reactions instead of escalating fights.
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Identifying negative thought loops that sabotage connection.
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Shifting from resentment by used repair using evidence-based tools.
