Committed Relationships
What it is and how it impacts our relationships
Why Commitment Matters
Commitment is the foundation of any stable and meaningful relationship. It creates a sense of security, trust, and emotional safety, allowing partners to open up, connect deeply, and work through challenges together. Without commitment, relationships often remain surface-level, filled with doubt, inconsistency, and insecurity.
Key Reasons Commitment is Important:
✔ Emotional Security: Knowing your partner is invested reduces anxiety and fear of abandonment.
✔ Trust Building: Consistent actions and kept promises strengthen trust.
✔ Resilience: Commitment motivates couples to work through conflicts instead of walking away.
✔ Deeper Connection: Emotional and physical intimacy thrive with a reliable bond.
✔ Long-term Growth: Shared goals create a meaningful future together.
agreement about what shared commitment looks like (what aspect of your lives are shared and to what degree), misunderstandings and conflict arises.
Commitment is an on-going process. It also involves sacrifices. Sometimes, we need to prioritising the relationship over our own needs or wants. This ensures that the relationship thrives and the other's well being and needs are sufficiently met.
What is commitment
Commitment is the foundation of any stable and meaningful relationship. It creates a sense of security, trust, and emotional safety, allowing partners to open up, connect deeply, and work through challenges together. Commitment goes beyond just staying together - it’s the intentional choice to invest in a relationship’s growth and well-being. It involves being emotionally available, reliable, and willing to prioritize the relationship, even during difficult times.
Key Aspects of Commitment:
✔ Emotional Commitment: Choosing to be vulnerable and honest with your partner.
✔ Behavioral Commitment: Consistently acting in ways that strengthen the relationship.
✔ Cognitive Commitment: Viewing the relationship as long-term and valuable.
In essence, commitment is about showing up, not just when things are easy but especially when they’re not.
What is a committed relationship?
A committed relationship is when both partners intentionally choose to build, maintain, and deepen their connection based on trust, respect, and a shared vision for the future. It involves prioritizing each other’s needs and making long-term plans together.
Key aspects of a committed relationship:
✔ Living arrangements: Agreeing to live together or apart.
✔ Children: Aligning on having children and family planning.
✔ Formal Commitment: Being engaged, married or to keep things casual.
Four aspects of commitment
These are four aspects of commitment:
Intimacy
Partners may commit to only surface level connection or may want to have deep, emotional intimacy
Financial
Partners may commit to share their finances. One may provide for the other. Or finances may be separate.
Sexual
Partners commit to fidelity or an open relationship. How often they have sexual intimacy or no sexual intimacy.
Social
Partners may commit to integrating their social lives - deepen their joint friendships, hobbies or interests.
Did you know there is such a thing as commitment phobia?
Also known as gamophobia, commitment phobia is an intense, persistent and irrational fear of committing to long-term (usually romantic) relationships. Sufferers show extreme anxiety or panic when faced with any relationship commitment - even the concept of a relationship or labelling a relationship. Most avoid all relationships.
Common Signs of Commitment Phobia:
✔ Avoids relationship milestones, like moving in or getting engaged.
✔ Alternates between affection and withdrawal.
✔ Procrastinates on relationship decisions.
✔ Uses stonewalling or silent treatment to avoid deeper commitment.
How gender and culture affect commitment phobia?
✔ Men are statistically more likely to experience commitment phobia than women.
✔ In Japan, the concept of taijin kyofusho reflects a fear of causing discomfort to others, which can fuel commitment fears.
✔ There is an increasing trend of young women avoiding long-term relationships due to societal pressures, career priorities and declining interest in having children.
Why do we avoid commitment
Here are 8 common reasons people fear commitment in relationships:
✔ Fear of Vulnerability: Afraid of getting hurt if the relationship fails.
✔ Past Trauma: Previous betrayals or toxic relationships.
✔ Fear of Losing Freedom: Worry that commitment means losing autonomy.
✔ Messy Breakups: Witnessing or experiencing difficult separations.
✔ Fear of Conflict: Avoiding emotional conversations.
✔ Fear of Intimacy: Afraid of being hurt again.
✔ Low Self-Esteem: Belief of not being good enough.
✔ Attachment Issues: Growing up with emotionally unavailable caregivers.
Useful links for you:
📖 Can a Narcissist be Commitment Phobic?
📖 Find out About Empaths & Commitment Anxiety
📖 Is the Fast Pace of Dating Causing you Angst?
Useful tags for you:
🏷️ Divorce Anxiety | 🏷️ Narcissistic Abuse | 🏷️ Visit Narcissistic Trauma